Welcome to Meaningful Words- Home of any and everything nonsensical!

Take. that. annoying. Pirates. 3. trailer. off.

Or at least MUTE THE FREAKING VOLUME.

His patience runs dangerously thin,
What with the trillion cars in between;
Where he is and where he ought to be,
The washroom in his university.

Yes he is late,
For class, which he utterly hates;
But more importantly, the main mission,
To clear three days’ worth of constipation.

He taps the steering wheel, anxious,
And regrets not eating more oranges;
The time bomb is ticking- no time to lose!
He must reach before all hell breaks lose.

The pressure mounts; he breaks cold sweat,
He gives his stomach one or two pats;
Praying at the same time for divine intervention,
Hoping for some miracle solution.

He peers ahead, contemplating his fate,
Is there a way, or is it checkmate?
Frantically, he starts searching the compartments,
Where’s that bag with the shampoo from Watson’s?

The ordeal, having commenced for quite some time,
Has taken its toll on the muscles behind;
His ‘Spartans’ are starting to lose the war,
The ‘Persians’ are fighting with zealous fervour.

In accounting terms, his ‘assets’ are very ‘liquid’,
They convert to ‘cash’ at a very high speed;
To be literal, they ARE indeed liquid,
There goes the new leather seat.

Like Michael Scoffield and his troop of schemers,
Some ‘inmates’ find their way past the security cameras;
They exit the compound embracing their freedom,
Free to pollute the air with sinful emanation.

Pretty soon, one thing leads to another,
News of the inmates’ escape spread like wild fire;
For a moment, all was still; all was quiet,
The next moment, chaotic screams of a violent riot.

As he begins to choke on his own refuse,
He finds the circumstance viable for an excuse;
To make a U-turn at the next junction,
And drive to the nearest petrol station.

By the time everything was OK,
He has missed his only class today;
The ordeal was too much; he decides to return
After (of course) buying an orange or ten.

…that guy is NOT me.

The demise (forthcoming) of the Final Fantasy series.

The Golden Era: FFVIII

• Cool, memorable characters
• Great storyline
• Actually useful GF’s
• Good protagonist dialogue (or lack thereof)

The Collapse: FFIX

• Monkey-like, utterly unadorable protagonist
• Short, pseudo-kiddy Barbie-pixels characters
• Ugly, unattractive heroine
• What was the story about again?
• Lame weapon names eg "Butterfly"

Resurfacing: FFX

• OK protagonist (obviously the fashion sense has plummeted)
• Good supporting cast (excl. Rikku)
• One of the best heroine-female-extraordinaire in series
• GF/Aeon STILL the battle backbone
• Great storyline
• Interesting sidequests

The Dip: FFX-2

• Sadistic game turned best heroine-female-extraordinaire in series into a bag of dog waste
• Rikku not eradicated along with FFX; returns with shrill haunting voice
• Third tomboy sidekick not as Paineful as (s)he seemed, bad hairstyle
• Utterly ridiculous battle system: Barbie and Ken clothe-swapping galore
• Ugly, uninteresting, draggy clothe-swapping galore animations
• Couldn’t get past the first hour of the game

Untimely destruction: FFXII

• Developers ran out of ideas; protagonist was under aged, slept in the sewers, was nil in terms of hairstyle and fashion sense, had knack for retarded dialogue; to sum it all up - "douche bag" (first hopes for romance dashed)
• First supporting character Penelo: even worse fashion sense, useless, errand-girl
• Story’s super-hot female extraordinaire much older than Mr Protagonist (read: no romance)
• Story’s super-hot female extraordinaire too hot for Mr Protagonist (read: no romance)
• Story’s protagonist yet to reach puberty (read: no romance)
• Story’s protagonist hadn’t taken a bath for years (read: no romance)
• Story’s protagonist ran errands for a dumb Star Wars monster (read: no romance)
• Story’s protagonist was able to immitate Tidus the Character Who Is Twenty Thousand Times Cooler’s fashion sense (read: no romance),
• but failed to mimic the personality of Tidus the Character Who Is Twenty Thousand Times Cooler (read: no romance)
• Tidus cooler ONLY relatively to protagonist. Even so, protagonist an astonishingly horrendous twenty thousand times worse than Tidus (read: no romance)
• Story’s protagonist more interested in stealing things (read: no romance)
• Story’s protagonist more interested in playing catch, hide-and-seek with Penelo the Errand Girl Without Any Fashion Sense (read: no romance)
• GF/Summonings a big joke
• Weather system more chore than charm
• Monotonous character growth meant Big Barbaric Basch could be Little Suzy the Healer and Penelo the Kid could be Xena/Hagar/Conan the Princess Warrior High On Steroids
• Ludicrous sidequest: Boss with 50 million HP
• Irritating, ugly, dumb protagonist
• Irritating, ugly, dumb protagonist
• Irritating, ugly, dumb protagonist
• Irritating, ugly, dumb protagonist
• Irritating, ugly, dumb protagonist
• Irritating, ugly, dumb protagonist

Ugh…