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A few weeks ago, my house almost got robbed,

By this stinking, lazy and slimy slob;

Too lazy to work, he took this alternative,

To take what’s not his- to be a thief.

                                                                                                                     

So there he was, at the porch,

When no one was at home, that of course;

Thinking no one could see him, he started to force,

Pulled the damn grills off with the strength of a horse.

                                                                                                                     

Now he didn’t know that the neighbours had noticed,

Of the suspicious acts of this apprentice thief;

He thought he was small and no one would notice,

But fact is, he’s twice the size of a jungle beast.

                                                                                                                     

So as the neighbours called the police,

He suspected that something was amiss;

Fat that he was he galloped like a horse,

To his alikapcai and went on his course.

                                                                                                                     

So I reached at around five-thirty,

Humming happily to track twenty;

My world stopped dead in its tracks,

When I saw my front door in a wreck.

                                                                                                                     

After picking my jaw from the ground,

I regained composure and looked around;

Tried the wooden door- was still locked,

Took a while to notice there was no doorknob.

                                                                                                                     

So I ran to the back, expecting the worst,

At the prospect of losing everything, I started to curse;

I was pretty much a jumble of emotions,

My house had been invaded my a Martian.

                                                                                                                  

When I saw that my backdoor was locked,

I got confused, and ran back around the block;

Saw my neighbour, and looking at her face,

I knew at once that everything was okay.

                                                                                                                  

She saw the demon in the form of a human,

For a few days, nosing around;

And that afternoon parked outside my compound,

And at my door, he started to pound.

                                                                                                                  

He succeeded in opening my door,

Also got my neighbours to open their doors;

They were curious- What was the commotion?

They thought my house was under renovation.

                                                                                                                  

Now renovators had something in common,

And taking off motorcycle helms is pretty common;

But this guy had the helm on his head locked,

And his tool was a very big rock.

                                                                                                                  

From which primitive firm did this man hail?

Resorting to rocks rather than hammers and nails?

With such barbaric and primitive methods enforced,

Tearing the grills off with utter brute force!

                                                                                                                  

My neighbours are smart, the thief isn’t,

Guess he’s a burglar due to this reason;

His habitat is really the chambers in the prison,

Why is he here committing vandalism?

                                                                                                                  

A lot of stress he caused, he really did,

Sleepless nights and fear thanks to this deed;

And all the mess caused by the renovation,

To turn my house into a high-class prison.

                                                                                                                  

All these happened in the midst of assignments,

Adding unnecessary levels of stress and tension;

No thanks to the balding economics lecturer,

Who regarded a break-in as something minor.

                                                                                                                  

Told him I did the state of my abode,

Two days of extension was all I had hoped;

I thought with all his years of tenure,

His brains would be more than utter manure.

                                                                                                                  

As one would expect, he dismissed my dilemma,

Wait till it happens to him- call it bad karma;

Entering an empty house- save for a chair,

He’ll quickly lose his remaining hair.

                                                                                                                  

Welcome to the world, said my friend,

Where no one cares, for yourselves you shall fend;

I didn’t like the taste, this real world on a dish,

I guess that’s why everyone’s so selfish.

                                                                                                                  

Lucky for me I have a circle of friends,

And family who is as important as my hand;

Without them I’d be handicapped,

I’d lose my refuge (and places to crap).

This entry was posted on Friday, September 22nd, 2006 at 10:59 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.